Three times now, my wife Stacy and I have had one of those "wait, that only happens to other people" moments; the first was in 2012, when medical staff at Columbus' Riverside Hospital told us that she had a massive blood clot on her brain and would undergo emergency surgery, her neurosurgeon telling us he didn't know why Stacy wasn't comatose already.
The second was April of 2015, when my personal physician informed me that I'd be losing a kidney because I had small-cell renal carcinoma. As it turned out, I kept half the kidney and didn't require chemotherapy or radiation treatments afterwards.
The third was Thursday night.
Ask anyone in my family and they'll tell you I'm a pretty stubborn guy. Good-natured, honest as the day is long...but stubborn. I get it from my Dad. Well, that stubborn streak could have been my undoing.
A week ago this past Wednesday (October 21st for those keeping score at home) I started having a weird feeling in my chest. It wasn't pain or pressure, just weirdness that was discomforting. As my wife was babysitting our granddaughter Mila on the other side of town, I texted her this information, adding that I didn't want to alarm her, just wanted her to know. Thursday, Friday and Saturday, I still had very mild discomfort but less than what I felt at its onset. Sunday evening it got a little worse, but there was no way I was going to the emergency room. "It'll pass", I thought, "probably pulled a muscle in my chest filling the coal stove." The next three days were uneventful but the feeling never quite went away.
Then came Thursday, when it started bothering me worse than ever; so much so that I called Doc Becker's office. Her advice? "Go to the ER."
It was the last thing I wanted to do, believe me. I was sure I was probably having an angina attack and most definitely would catch the China virus waiting to be seen in a room full of sick people. Unbelievably, when I arrived, there was exactly one other person waiting to be examined. Ten minutes later I was in an exam room.
When the Doc came in, I told him my symptoms and that I probably had a pulled chest muscle. He ordered an EKG and bloodwork; the electrocardiogram came back normal. The blood work did not. Apparently there's an enzyme that becomes elevated during a cardiac event; the normal range is 45 and below.
Mine was over 1900.
"We're going to admit you and you'll most likely undergo a heart catheterization on Friday", he'd said.
I CAN'T DO THAT! MY WIFE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO RUN THE COAL STOVE! I raged in my mind. Stacy, being a self-imagined pioneer-woman, thought otherwise. "When I get home I'll call you, and you can walk me through it."
Coal stoves get hot. Very hot. The first time I emptied the ash pan this year I burned a finger, right through the thick welding gloves I use when handling it. Its nearly healed now but, boy, did it blister up. The thought of my angel trying to handle the hot ash pan scared me to death, let alone the thought of her trying to fill the stove, which requires lifting a 40-lb, 5-gallon bucket of the nut coal we use to chest-level to reach the top-fill chute...all while trying to avoid touching the cast-iron stove.
Stacy stayed with me until I got settled into my room in cardiac step down and my hairy chest was mottled with those very sticky tabs used with heart monitors. I knew that, when I was discharged, those would be painful to remove (and I wasn't wrong).
The night passed uneventfully, though sleeplessly, as it seemed a nurse would come in every half hour to do something or other; blood draws were frequent, I imagine to keep an eye on that pesky enzyme level. I also was outfitted with an IV port in my hand, through which dripped two different kinds of blood thinners.
Then came Friday and the heart cath. I was disappointed to find I wasn't scheduled until 3 PM; I'd hoped it would be much earlier, say around nine or so, hoping I'd get discharged afterwards.
3 o'clock came and went. Then four PM. Then 5 PM. They finally came for me at 5:30. It seems they schedule outpatient heart catheterizations first, and there'd been an emergency procedure to boot.
The staff in the cath lab were very efficient, to say the least, working in concert to prep me for the procedure. The catheter was inserted through an artery in my wrist; though uncomfortable, it wasn't really painful, due in part to the microgram or two of fentanyl I'd unknowingly been given.
In what seemed only minutes, the procedure was completed. The attending physician informed me that he'd removed a blood clot, inflated a balloon and then inserted a stent, to keep the affected artery open, and that all the other arteries around my heart looked very good. Great news, to be sure, but I'd be staying another night.
All told, the hospital stay wasn't a bad experience; the worst part is both the short-term and long-term restrictions, such as not exerting myself or lifting anything more that 5 pounds in weight for a week, not being able to drive until Monday and adjusting what I eat and how I exercise.
I'd planned on mowing today. Didn't happen.
And my lovely wife will continue to tend to the coal stove for the next week...which drives me insane.
